Mean Emails from Strange Men

So I had an experience recently that has left me feeling pretty weird…

I used to be a writing tutor in undergrad and so, looking for a little extra work, I signed up for a tutoring website here in Ireland. It’s the sort of site where you make a profile and people get in touch with you if they’re interested in having you as a tutor. Things had been pretty quiet for while cause I hadn’t really fleshed out my profile, but then I got a message from this guy who wanted help with an essay he was writing.

We sent a couple messages back and forth and he said that he would like me as a tutor – we didn’t really seem to be on the same page about what my job really is (i.e. it seemed like he kind of wanted me to write things for him), but I figured we would clear things up when we met. He then went on to say that he wanted to meet the next day and called me to confirm that I was available. He then sent me an email saying he would like to meet at his apartment. I replied that I would rather meet at a coffee shop (because I feel weird meeting someone I don’t know in their home). He said that it wouldn’t really be possible because he only has a desktop, none of the cafes around have internet connection, and that public places are really distracting to him. He offered a local place to meet if I “insisted”, but it didn’t really seem like that be conducive to working, given his circumstances, and it struck as me a little weird that he was so hesitant to meet outside his apartment.

So, this is where I get weird – at first, I replied that we could meet at his apartment because it sounded like a coffee shop wasn’t plausible. But the more I thought about it, the weirder I felt about the whole thing. My gut just didn’t have a good feeling about this guy. There was something about our communication that made feel uneasy and I was already really stressing out about meeting with him. So, even though I know it was unprofessional, I canceled at the last minute. I sent him an email saying that I was so sorry, but that something had come up and I wouldn’t be able to tutor him anymore. I suggested he find another tutor on the website and apologized again. I didn’t mention anything about feeling uncomfortable about meeting him, I just said that I wasn’t able to do it.

He then sent me back an email saying that what I was doing to him was “absolutely unfair” and that he wasn’t a “human hunter”. He said that he had offered a public place to meet (which to be fair is true, although to me, it didn’t really feel like a genuine offer) and that he was left feeling very bad. He implied that I had essentially screwed him over for his papers and that he has had many other tutors from the website that have helped him without complaint.

So this is where I feel weird: did I do the right thing here? I have always been taught to go with my gut on things like this and, as a young woman, I feel like I’d rather be careful and risk being mean than not cautious enough and end up in trouble. At the end of the day, I don’t think we would have made a very good tutoring pair anyway given we had very different expectations of my job, but why am I left feeling so guilty about making someone feel bad who also made me feel deeply uncomfortable? How come in order to keep myself safe, I have to be on the receiving end of mean emails from men I don’t know, regardless of whether or not they had ill intentions?

Has anyone else dealt with this sort of thing? I’m genuinely curious if there’s anything I should have done differently or considered that I didn’t or if you would have done the same…

Wedding Season at B & P

With a lot of formal summer events coming up, so many people are coming in looking for something fancy, but that can also be worn again in other ways (because who doesn’t have a big fancy dress they’ve worn literally once sitting in their closet somewhere). That’s why I love the pieces that have been coming in at Bow & Pearl: they are super lovely, but can also be dressed down for a date or a night out long after wedding season is over.

Did a few photos for the shop this week and thought I’d share some of my favorites…

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I love the idea of the beaded tops (which are backless, btw) with jeans and black heels or the full striped skirt with a white t-shirt and nude pumps for a date. And, since I’m on a jumpsuit kick right now (see previous post), I’m in love with the polka dot jumpsuit – which would be perfect for a relaxed summer wedding or with sandals and a boater hat on vacation. Everything above is available either in the store in Ranelagh or on the website. Shop on, my good people!

Jumpsuit Love 👖

I have never really considered myself a jumpsuit person; finding the right one just seemed unnecessarily difficult and I love wearing formal dresses. Like love. So jumpsuits, just not on my radar.

Until I had an outfit crisis – Trinity Ball is the big formal end of the year event at Trinity College. So fancy, right? But it’s also a series of outdoor concerts filled with drunk 18-year-olds vomiting on their own shoes in April. So like not fancy and also freezing? Yeah, I had no idea what to wear either…

Luckily, my lovely friend Cathy suggested a jumpsuit. At first I was skeptical because she’s very fashion forward and can totally pull that shit off. But then I realized she was totally right, it was the perfect solution to my outfit conundrum: fancy but not too serious, comfortable and easy to move around in, and so much warmer than a little dress.

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[Jumpsuit from here in Dublin and shoes from here (only €15!)]

Needless to say, it was the best decision ever. I felt totally appropriate for the event but still got to dance all night, which, if you know me, is very important. Before, it had never even crossed my mind to wear a jumpsuit and now I can’t wait to break mine out again. Would love to dress mine down for a date with white sneakers and a slouchy sweater and am planning on wearing with heels to another ball next month. (Cause my life is fancy as shit like that.)

The other great thing about jumpsuits right now is that there about a million options online, so I thought I’d pick a few of my favorites to entice you to the pants side…

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[White Culottes, Jumpsuit Goals]

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[Makes Me Want a VacationGreek Goddess Approved]

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[The Most Gorgeous Sleeves, Dress Up or Down]

I feel like jumpsuits still have that ‘trendy’ aura about them, but they’ve really become super accessible, especially with so many options. I love how modern and cool they feel without being super fussy. That’s the dream, right?

So, would you ever wear a jumpsuit? Any fellow converts out there? Would love to hear.

Dublin in Bloom

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Now that I’ve started working in the next neighborhood over, I’m spending way more time outside. Walking to and from work, writing at Starbucks before taking the Luas, having a glass of wine outside on the way home… At first, I was worried it would be a pain working a couple miles away, but I actually love how much it’s getting me out of the house. I feel like I’ve been hibernating with my books these last few months – some fresh air and vitamin D are exactly what I need.

So after spending the day over in Ranelagh, I took the scenic route home and snapped some shots of spring here in Dublin. Even though it isn’t as warm as I’m used to (only getting into the high 50s), the city is really starting to come alive with the long sunny days. Students littering the cricket pitch with cans of Pratsky, the parks packed at lunchtime, the bar patios mobbed with the after work-crowd… It’s been really fun to see the city buzzing; it’s all got me looking forward to a whole summer here. 🌸

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Weekend Roundup: Happy Earth Day!

This week has been totally crazy cause I’m in training for my new job (which I talked a little bit about earlier) – I’m learning many marketable skills such as hanging up sparkly dresses and strategic ways to stand above objects while I photograph them. It’s unexpectedly exhausting though, so I have been minimally productive in other regards (aka my essays due in like a week and a half 😳). Planning on holing up at Bailey Bar’s outdoor patio this weekend with a glass of white wine and about 5 books on French existentialism… Hit me up for good times.

In other news, happy Earth Day! We were #blessed with beautiful weather today and I took a lovely walk home from work in celebration. Keep up the good work, pretty lady!

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And here are a few gems from around the interwebs, if you’re looking for a little procrastination…

The best tribute to Prince yet. (Also, Kiss is on repeat this weekend 😭)

When you explain ‘goals’ to a grammar guru

These illustrations are totally my vibe… even if they are just for candles lol

You know you’re a goddess when Zac Posen designs your showgirl costumes and you can get away with naming your burlesque show Strip Strip Hooray! 

Rocking out/getting v nostalgic for high school thanks to this cover. (This whole album is hilarious.)

That’s all from me for now – have a great weekend, chickadees!

Featured on Lovin’ Dublin!

Super excited that one of my favorite sites around town, Lovin Dublin, has featured me on their instagram! Thanks for the love, guys, and hope everyone is enjoying the sun today! I’m just excited to have an excuse to get out of the library and grab a pint for myself 🍻

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Photo of The Barge on Charlemont taken on my walk home from work yesterday, if you’re looking for a sunny place for a drink. I love a city that appreciates its lovely weather – cheers!

Bow & Pearl

So exciting news: I’ve started working for a lovely shop in Dublin called Bow & Pearl! They have the sweetest pieces and everyone is so lovely and will style you like nobody’s business. I’m excited to be working on their social media and spending some time in the shop, so keep an eye out for some of my shots on their instagram (@bowandpearl). Here are a few sneak peaks from my first day…

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I’m so in love with this fringed bag – the leather is insanely soft and it feels like a fresh take on the (out of control) fringe trend… Everything shown is available at their shop in Ranelagh and they have a ton of pieces available online as well. Check them out! 😘

Trinity Women’s Week 2016

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A few weeks ago, we celebrated International Women’s Week here at Trinity and I got the chance to photograph some of the events hosted on campus. And I gotta say, it felt so good to be in the feminist sphere again. I get some of it in my classes (we’re a pretty liberal and female-heavy course) and more generally being a young person in academia, but it’s different when feminism is really the focus of the discussion. After graduating from Bryn Mawr, I was afraid I wouldn’t encounter the same female solidarity I experienced there in the real world. But International Women’s Week made me feel all warm and fuzzy again and I learned a ton about the experience of women in Ireland, which has been really fraught over the last century. Here are a few photos from the events, if you’re interested…

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The first event I attended was a panel discussion with Grainne Healy and Katherine Zappone, who discussed the success of the recent vote for marriage equality and the possibility of a future vote to repeal the 8th amendment, which criminalizes abortion in Ireland. The subject is still highly debated in media here and, from what Healy and Zappone explained, the success of an open vote for access to abortion doesn’t seem very certain right now. But with that said, the number of women in the Irish government is steadily increasing and with politicians like Zappone being direct and firm on the need for access to abortion, one has to hope its time will come.

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Later that night I went to a panel discussion hosted by The Trinity Law Society that had an amazing variety of women on it and was really well moderated by Aine Lawlor. Panelists included journalist Una Mullally, professor/professional hottie Dr. Aoibhinn Ní Shúilleabháin, and author Louise O’Neill (whose work I’m looking at for my master’s dissertation). The whole discussion centered on the broader topic of women’s experiences in Ireland, but touched on media harassment, modern body image, and Irish politics regarding women’s rights. For example, I had no idea that the marriage bar, which prevented women from working after they were married, existed in Ireland until 1973! It’s learning facts like this that really put the fight for women’s rights into context for me.

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The final event I photographed was a speaker named Leanna Byrne, a Trinity graduate and news reporter at the Sunday Business Post. After hearing from very established and generally older women all week, it was really refreshing to talk with someone only a few years into her career and hear how she got her foot in the door and what I should be thinking about in my first years in the workplace.

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On Thursday night, I got to be a civilian and went to an arts night featuring Trinity’s all-female a cappella group and selections from The Vagina Monologues (which for the record I still know by heart). After the concert, there was a wine reception and photography exhibition/competition featuring tributes to inspiring women and representations of the female spirit. I’m super excited to say I won the general division with my photo of professor/actor/mustached croquet player extraordinaire, Catharine, shown above!

Special thanks to Aoife Crawford for putting together such a great week and letting me be a part so many cool events! Now if only every week could be women’s week…